The Time Sought

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Being home alone is an unique experience. The mind keeps exploring the nooks it hasn't travelled yet.

I realised today how sincerely I love this particular man. He's otherwise a very efficient man, and managed to handle life with all rush and no rest. On the contrary, I am a drama queen. I live a life I imagine in my head, choose the least resistant path to achieve. Whereas he's a hardworking, patient, reasonable man, I am a lazy lass. Today when he seemed so worried and unsettled and yet managed to be with me and care for my heart condition (caused by realising the truth) I understood how much I love him.

I realised that I can keep aside my drama and fictional conditions for sometime and be his support. He needs my strength and attention to organise the mess. He needs me to solve the questions. I realised how much I matter to him, for he needs the immediate success mostly to be able to keep me next to him, given I have ruled out the matrimonial possibility. Whatever he does, he makes sure that leads to us, at least him to me if not the other way round. I am finally on peace with his sweaty shirt. I have seen him literally running to me for me. I couldn't appreciate then. But there was something very unsettling yet very pacifying in his voice. I felt I have let him down. I may have succeeded to catch many one's attention, yet he's the one to tolerate my tantrums on my sick bed. I have felt proud of him always, even before we ran into the relationship. Knowing that every bit of time his only desire is my happiness has taken the gravity to a new strength. It's no more a weak force.

I am a well-known narcissist across all my social media platform, but I know I am not selfish. I want to keep aside myself for this man who needs a much needed break from chasing down happiness for me. He hardly has levitated us as much as me. It has literally costed him time and notes. The least I can offer him is my attentive love and care. He has been always the fire  frictioned out of him and me to keep me warm. I can least be the air now. He has been the bravest man while lying to the world to protect me. I can least be his armour now. I cannot claim to love him without being the love itself.

Darling, I promise to be exclusively yours till we last for I trust you and nothing is more amicable than your love. I've always felt protected and safe in your arms. I've always smiled in your tears. I love you, my Hero.

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