Satanic Theory

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Last night I pulled out the King James version of Bible from the shelf and put it on my bedside table. I was not in a very good state of mind. I did not do so because I was afraid to be shunted to hell if I killed myself. If God was merciful he wouldn't inflict the curse of depression. May be he is mythical. I don't exactly also disbelieve in God's existence. It is just that an entity with such powers will have to franchise responsibilities to others. Back to the Bible. Being a long-term (if two years count as long) depression patient, I have found that I need an anchor outside my head to hold on to life. Often it is my dog whose unconditional love keeps sticking to this painful side of life. I have been keeping away from her lately. I am afraid she will contract depression. And that is something no mother will ever want for her child. 

I keep diverting from the Bible. If it cannot hold my attention when I am blogging about it, then I doubt how much it will help when I am fighting whether to live or die. I don't want to die. Nobody does, I guess. You see, while you want to fix your problems and move on to a greener pasture eventually, people like me just want to be already on a green pasture. Why? Many reasons: depression numbs your ability to think and execute, it shuts you from trying anything, and kills any possible plan to overcome an issue (however simple). So, can I get a free pass? Hell no!! Won't that ambush normal people? You see...

Wait, the Bible. Is it me or do you see how God doesn't want me to type about his scripture! Oops. Bibles are a documentary scribbled by many authors thousands of years ago about a guy who had God-like healing powers, and about people of various communities syncing in to form a major faith, now popularised as Christianity. Bible is a great storyteller. I am a linguistics student. Strange syntax, encrypted lexicon, fragmented expressions, ridiculous reality, believable miracles: the holy grail a linguist lives for. Actually, I am more than impressed with the ego-clad science in all these Bibles. It literally begins with quantum science and shifts on to a more sociological paradigm.  It is a roller coaster if you are a sucker for knowledge. Am I? May be. 

If Opus Die comes to know I disintegrate Christianity to a rainbow faith, it might hunt me down to death. I am dying anyway. It will just get interesting. Or they are used to rants, like the Pope. Almost every aspect of Christianity is cleanly twisted pagan traditions and beliefs, even if it off shot from Judaism. On that note, seriously, why would humans be God-product when we create nothing but imbalance and destruction to rest of the universe. Think, people, think! 

Why I got the Bible before I went to bed? It keeps me intrigued about so much and nothing of which belongs to me. A singular book capable of distracting me from depression and deliver into a sapio-adrenaline rush. Addictive anti-depressants or a book? The book. 

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