Monogamy Is A Choice

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Monogamy. The word is in order of nuclear physics, or even better. It covers every aspect of human philosophy of moral, justice, economy, territory, society, sex, emotions and religions. Yet, not something we try to analyse on a daily life of a common man.

Being born into a Hindu family, I have heard the scriptures of the two most famous: Ramayana and Mahabharata. Once a mind is introduced to a higher conscience, to a broader knowledge, to a wider opportunity, it is difficult to settle down for something without giving it the benefit of doubt. Given that I am intrigued about monogamy, I will straight away refer to where its probable first mention is, i.e. the Mahabharata. 

As an introduction, Mahabharata was composed to Ved Vyas , dictated by Ganesh. The main plot can be read from Quora. I will avoid it to keep the talk to the point. Draupadi, the female protagonist of the epic had five husbands. I have few interesting points jolted down:

1. Arjuna, who has won the swayamvara, asks his meditating mother to look at what he got as 'alms'

Can a man be so excruciatingly arrogant of his achievements that he disrespects of begetting a wife as 'alms'? If this is not male ego, then what it could be? He could have said he was blessed with something new that day, yet his choice of words 'alms'.

2. The mother Kunti carelessly answers that whatever he got, he must share with his brothers

As a mother, how consumed can one be with chores or in meditation to not see what the thing is before giving her opinion given that at that time, words held value as much as someone's life. Or was she just an arrogant, suffering woman who took extreme pride in her sons achievements that she just expected they can get only materials as alms? It takes a great deal to be blessed and lot more to actually win a woman's heart.

3. Yudhishthir is so bound to morals that he cares not what the new bride may feel and stands on the utterance factor

As the eldest brother he should not only judge by the moral standards, but also by common sense to consider his other brothers and particularly Arjuna's opinion about his own bride. Just because one's mother dictates to do something without inspection, doesn't mean the children have to be obliged and follow the command literally, sans any evaluation. Given that, he was into scriptures, morals, policing, judicial and administrative studies etc, he may be nothing more than a nerd who can't get a woman on his own abilities. He might have tried to grab the opportunity using his knowledge to twist and support his decision. Apparently, only Bhima opposed to the idea of one woman being shared as an object between five men. The family of warriors failed to protect a woman's wish or opinion. 

4. Draupadi wasn't asked for her opinion

Let's consider she was asked for her mind over matter. She was described as a woman of substance, endowed with knowledge, logic, beauty, wealth, power, and magnanimous personality. If she would have been asked, either she would have verdicted in favour of Arjun or would have asked for a fair chance to know who loves and respects her the most. She was an object of desire and lust to many. When a beautiful dusky woman is endowed with such brilliant and sharp attributes, it is obviously that she had the attention of many men, some out of respect, some out of lust, some out of fantasy, some out of seer need. Little she could do to help men control their intentions. Yet, she humbly accepted the decision her family made made for her, and surrendered her fate to the dangerous game of having five husbands. 

5. A decision was made and it was given way through mutilation

To the (un)fortunate woman, a decision was declared. The story says Draupadi in her previous life was blessed by Shiva to have five husbands, as she had asked to have a man with five characters. And also, her father wasn't happy to beget a girl child, and so had cursed her that she may struggle throughout her life. What a time that poor lady had all through out her life. She was not allowed to go to the husband of her choice when she wanted. She had to spend with each husband for a year's time in the order of their brotherhood and any disobedience by any brother will make her stay with the elder brother a year more. Then again, the great chastity! To be able to be a bride to each husband, she was to keep her virginity unabrased. What a woman in her prime youth has to suffer with five husbands yet no sexual pleasure. 

That's, my friend, a story of thousands years old. Now when I think, it must be her strong will poer and love and devotion for her husbands that had kept her sane till the end. She is an exemplary lady of love beyond carnal intentions. When the mind is satiated and at peace, the body only becomes the vessel. I wouldn't be delving deep into the love; rather I am amazed how brave, endearing and committed soul Draupadi was. And also notice, that even God failed to bless the demands of just five qualities in one man. Certainly one man is never absolutely complete to satisfactorily meet the demands of one woman. 

Coming to today's time, while a man, in certain practices, is allowed to have more than one  women as wives. My question to society is, where is the justice? Why women too aren't allowed to practice polygamy? Nature itself is predominantly polygamous. Apart from moral and cultural restrictions do we have as an argument against polygamy? If practiced by safe partners, I do not see why there should be any medical issue. Many a times, be it men or women, have fallen in love (not the type you can forget overnight over beer) sincerely with more than one man or woman. If wedding is all it takes all three of them to be happy in their own way, why should morals be a question? As long as by partners, we mean sexual share holders and by love we mean limitation, I would like to object to anything more than one. 

Last night, while conversing with my friend, he asked me if I love him a bit; to which my reply was: Love is not a quantum particle to be available in discrete packets. It is continuous and flows free. This is what makes it the most powerful force in nature". Honestly, one can never quantify love nor one can create target orient love. Love is freedom in mind, spirit and action. It is the source of happiness even when it means to have physically lose everything. Love is what encompasses every particle to other, be it macro or micro. Think it, if we just replace the gravitational force or the intermolecular force with love, it still makes the sense. 

Polygamy is only natural and obvious. I propose, women too should be allowed to practice. Women too be allowed to marry more than one man, if they so prefer. It is a matter of choice whether to be monogamous or polygamous. Rest, we all know the agony in the darkness of nights.