Tinder Wisdom

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I do Tinder. When asked, I say I am here for various reasons. I happen to mention my purpose as per the other new stranger and keep the option open. That being said, I have a boyfriend. I love him, and he moves me a lot more back. Yet, Tinder has been another source of happiness. 

My boyfriend has troubled me with nothing; he has given me in abundance his time and love, most importantly his undivided loyalty. (Hold your breath) I am single on Tinder. I meet Alpha on another dating app and after months of procrastination to meet, we finally meet on my birthday when all my friends (fortunately) ditched me; we end up having the best night I ever had. What can be a better gift on birthday other than orgasms for both body and mind. It's been a year and we haven't seen each other. I enjoy his updates on social media. My heart fills with joy to see his progress and success. There is something about intelligent men. I am sexually too oriented towards men to have ever tried to fully enjoy an intellectual talk with smart women (I know many of them, though).  

Recently, a guy from Tinder, S, has been my another source of joy. His words, his ways, his voice, his perfume have been teasing my sapiosexuality. It is not for the first time someone said to text him once I reach home. But there's something about him. The way he mentions his concerns and goodbyes, it only makes me meet him again. His confidence is quite flattering and laugh is powerful. 

Tinder saga continues; yet another man, A who is happily married, is looking for a stranger to share what he thinks he cannot mention to his wife. He says I am a woman of needs, like men. He says of a line that we should be careful of not crossing. He leaves me wonder and question everything I have believed till far. I go into a long flashback and remember a kindled act of love was performed on the stairs of his flat, while his girlfriend was engaged talking to my ex-boyfriend. I have never been physically loyal to one man, it seems. 

Now I wonder how I define the concepts of relationship. A says he aches for a fling even though he has a wife. I explain marriage is a social certification or a dogma as one wants to perceive it as. The real thing is what is on one's mind. I am drawn to the two men: Alpha and S in a way I find hard to explain. It is so much a mental affair, one-sided. Their mere presence, any random talk pleases me. My soul rejuvenates itself in a bask of joyful state of beyond physical pleasure. I tell A that I tend to believe that as long as my love for my boyfriend remains unaltered, it is alright whatever else happens. I am not sure i can state the same for his benefit. I am a possessive lover. Then again it is a tricky way to convince oneself out of the convention system. 

A asks if I will continue to believe the same even after i am wedded, My exact words : I think so. or like a shrewd human, i will change my beliefs and understanding as per my benefit or our benefits. Happiness is what matters ultimately. What is the point of rules and not being happy; ultimately that comes out as frustration with one's partner. 

With support to my last post, we must understand humans to be animals and to posses animal instinct. Usually, animals may hang out in herd but do not hesitate to fight when it comes to mating during. Some even stay during the pregnancy and leave only thereafter. Still few tend to have only one sexual partner for an entire lifetime. Marriage probably started as a barter system. It is a social product of human tendency to control and rearrange the immediate environment, exactly the reason of existence of origin of the concept of society. History is evident of healthy practice of harems, which was separate for different economic sects. Everything should be fine in right proportion and timing. When one cannot be the source of  all happiness for another person wholly, then it is so not just to expect every joy from one person after all.

Love is what interferes. That can be easily handled with a slight manipulation of calling it private space, instead of infidelity. And now A wonders how to approach me; I on my best wit tell him a man should always approach a woman with his best natural manner: it is up to me to whether accept the worst to come, or reject the best the universe stores hidden. 

P.S.: 1. I have been tindering and blogging while playing a romantic Bollywood song and thinking of my boyfriend, and feel being loved all the way.
        2. Incidents mentioned are twisted with fiction. Reality is a deep secret.