Inclined Chronicles of Indulgence

Navigating through life More often than not, I wish I could walk into the ocean and never return. The waves call me so dearly. They are high and low, soft and swift, blue and white, dark and beautiful. The ocean absorbs the world around it and makes it a part of its own tumult. Every time I tried to be a part of that magnificent piece of water, I was called back by dear ones. Their tearful, callous calls remind me how unaltered their lives will be without me. They fear they will lose me. What sort of fear is that, to be scared of losing something one never had in first place? I would look back, each time, with hopes in my eyes to see more; my ears would be more attentive every next time to hear something that I might have missed the last time. The words, the faces, the looks remain as if time didn't occur to them.  One can be comprehensive of strangers being cold and distant. But people you call your folks, too? May be the tropical country doesn't allow them to be any...

Every time he said those three magical words, I replied in silence. When one is precautioned to not feel in certain way, one cannot help but feel so. I don't know how to stop myself against another name. I am not angry at him, but at time. I have no idea why time had to being him to me at a time I am  grounded and vulnerable. I hate for being such a wrong person  to him. I hate myself to be not able to who can make him happy. Luckily, at least out of practice, my mind voiced the apt reply every single time to him. Unfortunately,  silence cannot be heard over the phone. He thinks I have ego issues. What he doesn't know is I am trying to hold up my tiny fragments together to be able to find love in me to love him back, to find respect to adore him. I speak to him everyday for hours together. That certainly has hampered his preparation to join an institution for further studies, but he never complains. He seeks my support in decision making. What reply do I give him wh...